By: Eric Kinkel
Through out the years, my family and I endured the treachery of
the combined illnesses: Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and
Myelodysplastic syndromes (MDS). We tried to educate ourselves
on the possible causes, cures, etc..and come to grips with the
results. Ultimately preparing us for the time we needed to face
the end result.
In those years, empathy
became more understandable, as a part of my being. Of this I am
Though an ideal and less
tragic death is what we anticipate, disease is far more likely
to take us, than a bus accident.
Since, the passing of
both my sister and my mother, I understand the greater world
around me and the human suffering we are all faced with in one
way or another.
we visit hospitals because a friend or loved one enters such a
facility, the visits are usually brief and our exposure to human
suffering is limited.
When you are faced with
the reality of having to endure the perils of the illness of a
loved one, we begin to realize that the doctors, who are hard
pressed to cure these diseases with any great certainty, are not
certain themselves. One can become lost in a quandary of “why is
this happening to me…”us”?
In time, you learn to
adjust, but you never really attain the assurance you need to
carry on. Especially when your friends or loved ones reach a
point of no return within their mind, about their own mortality
We all long to live and
to be happy. The blue bird of happiness surely must exist
Yet, we can be saddled
with the care giving of a friend or loved one with an illness
such as: MS, MDS, Cancers of all kind, nerve diseases, heart and
lung disease, immune diseases etc… Alternatively, any
combination thereof, can and will, create a sharp turn of events
in what would have been a normal life for all involved. It can
happen, that fast and with out warning.
The evolution of our
species is laced with death and disease, yet the hopes and cures
remain a sad statistical low average. In some cases, our
accumulation of scientific minds have created the most amazing
and astounding results for virtual cures. The most common
illnesses remain a mystery, a head cold, sinus infection,
arthritis etc...all have many years to go before we may ever
know how to combat such death defying commonplace sickness.
In the mean time, it is
all around us and it effects us all.
I prefer to exact empathy, a co sympathetic answer, to those who
must endure such illness when it is so close to their lives.
14 years of learning and
sacrifice has helped me to understand and abide with affinity,
those who carry on bravely and persist alongside their friends
or loved ones through such life threatening perils and
we are all capable of, is the most powerful way of handling our
Learning about how we can reliably help ourselves, in turn can
help others who truly need it.
To continue to put undo
stress on ourselves, or, others, serves no purpose other than to
exacerbate our own troubles with more worry, upset and burdens.
We have the greatest capacity to challenge ourselves to enact
our brains to solve our inner strife and conflicts with a
Creating peace within
our own human spirit, while exacting forgiveness, is better for
oneself, and is a more meaningful approach. An approach, in
which one begins to fore see a fulfilling life beyond the
troubles of caring for a loved one.
Sadly, it is in our
nature to misunderstand one another especially in times of grave
sadness or illness. I am no exception.
Yet, I prefer to seek the truth about life, given any situation
requiring sympathy or, empathy. The most sincere and trustworthy
person has the greatest chance of being misunderstood and of
being miss judged with out ever understanding their
If we communicate better with one another, we can learn about
ways which we can help each other through life’s trials and
tribulations. Listen, when someone offers you help. Understand,
when someone cares, if you think they don’t. Look, for the
positive signs you might think are disingenuous and accept that
which is pure of heart, clean in soul. Most will not!
Pain will never follow
truth, of that I am sure. I sense genuine compassion and empathy
many all the time.
I am empowered, by faith
in myself and from absolute understanding, to clearly say: I have learned
much about life by excating empathy.
Pass it along!