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“Empathy, The Understanding Of Life”

By: Eric Kinkel

Through out the years, my family and I endured the treachery of the combined illnesses: Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and Myelodysplastic syndromes (MDS). We tried to educate ourselves on the possible causes, cures, etc..and come to grips with the results. Ultimately preparing us for the time we needed to face the end result.

In those years, empathy became more understandable, as a part of my being. Of this I am certain!

Though an ideal and less tragic death is what we anticipate, disease is far more likely to take us, than a bus accident.

Since, the passing of both my sister and my mother, I understand the greater world around me and the human suffering we are all faced with in one way or another.

Sometimes, when we visit hospitals because a friend or loved one enters such a facility, the visits are usually brief and our exposure to human suffering is limited.

When you are faced with the reality of having to endure the perils of the illness of a loved one, we begin to realize that the doctors, who are hard pressed to cure these diseases with any great certainty, are not certain themselves. One can become lost in a quandary of “why is this happening to me…”us”?

In time, you learn to adjust, but you never really attain the assurance you need to carry on. Especially when your friends or loved ones reach a point of no return within their mind, about their own mortality or longevity.

We all long to live and to be happy. The blue bird of happiness surely must exist somewhere…right?

Yet, we can be saddled with the care giving of a friend or loved one with an illness such as: MS, MDS, Cancers of all kind, nerve diseases, heart and lung disease, immune diseases etc… Alternatively, any combination thereof, can and will, create a sharp turn of events in what would have been a normal life for all involved. It can happen, that fast and with out warning.

The evolution of our species is laced with death and disease, yet the hopes and cures remain a sad statistical low average. In some cases, our accumulation of scientific minds have created the most amazing and astounding results for virtual cures. The most common illnesses remain a mystery, a head cold, sinus infection, arthritis etc...all have many years to go before we may ever know how to combat such death defying commonplace sickness.

In the mean time, it is all around us and it effects us all.

I prefer to exact empathy, a co sympathetic answer, to those who must endure such illness when it is so close to their lives.

14 years of learning and sacrifice has helped me to understand and abide with affinity, those who carry on bravely and persist alongside their friends or loved ones through such life threatening perils and psychological endurance.

The brainpower (see brain plasticity) we are all capable of, is the most powerful way of handling our own dilemmas.
Learning about how we can reliably help ourselves, in turn can help others who truly need it.

To continue to put undo stress on ourselves, or, others, serves no purpose other than to exacerbate our own troubles with more worry, upset and burdens. We have the greatest capacity to challenge ourselves to enact our brains to solve our inner strife and conflicts with a healthy resolve.

Creating peace within our own human spirit, while exacting forgiveness, is better for oneself, and is a more meaningful approach. An approach, in which one begins to fore see a fulfilling life beyond the troubles of caring for a loved one.

Sadly, it is in our nature to misunderstand one another especially in times of grave sadness or illness. I am no exception.
Yet, I prefer to seek the truth about life, given any situation requiring sympathy or, empathy. The most sincere and trustworthy person has the greatest chance of being misunderstood and of being miss judged with out ever understanding their circumstances.

If we communicate better with one another, we can learn about ways which we can help each other through life’s trials and tribulations. Listen, when someone offers you help. Understand, when someone cares, if you think they don’t. Look, for the positive signs you might think are disingenuous and accept that which is pure of heart, clean in soul. Most will not!

Pain will never follow truth, of that I am sure. I sense genuine compassion and empathy many all the time.

I am empowered, by faith in myself and from absolute understanding, to clearly say: I have learned much about life by excating empathy.

Pass it along!


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